Two Days...And Counting.

Surgery for Kaylee's palate is on Wednesday at 12:45pm. I am getting really nervous again. I hate this feeling, but again my mantra remains the same: I'm doing this for her, not to her. I still get so upset. I know it is for the best, but what mother wants her daughter/son to be in pain? None that I know of.

She is going to be sooo grumpy on Wednesday morning. Her last bottle feeding will be at six, but at least she will still have water or clear juice until 9:00am. So, yeah. I guess I just wanted to let you all know. We will be staying at least one night in the hospital. It could be more, just depending on how she deals with feeding after her surgery.

I again plan on actively blogging and posting pictures to keep everyone updated, but who knows how that will go once she is out of surgery. I don't plan to be doing anything except keeping her company and making sure she is okay.

I've got my list of things that we will need to take, I've got a list of questions that I want to ask, I've got my fingers crossed for a good outcome and I am hoping that we get through this in tact. I know I tend to get really, very, very, nervous and snappy so I hope I don't bite anyone's head off, but if I do, know that it is not intentional, I just get very emotional.

Anyway, let's talk about my daughter. She just turned 10 months, and she is literally (I believe) a few weeks away from walking. If I hold her hands and walk backwards slowly, she starts to walk towards me, then she gets all excited and then decides to fall on her bum. That is how babies roll. She's definitely breached the 20 pound mark, and is talking us to pieces everyday. I love how much she is growing, it makes me a happy woman.

So, yeah. Things are going well on all fronts right now. We are doing well and I will keep you all updated with news during and after surgery. <3 JESS

10 Months Young!

Eeek. In two months she will be one! Time flies by so fraking fast. I am still looking for ideas for her birthday party. One idea that I had was to have a party at ChuckE Cheese. However, I don't know if she would be old enough to enjoy it, or if it would cost an arm and a leg. I was also thinking of a nice BBQ in a park midway between towns that way my parents wouldn't have to drive all the way here and Grant's parents wouldn't have to drive all the way there, and I would be worried about the weather (end of September in Colorado; I could get super nice or freezing cold). *shrug* I'm sure I'd figure it out in the long run.

So, my daughter made me so incredibly happy this morning. Grant woke up to take care of the early morning diaper. I woke up because she was making loud screamy noises (which is common now, but still wakes me up each time) and went into her nursery to see what was going on. She looked over at me in the doorway and put her arms in the air and loudly screamed "MA-MA!" and squeed really loudly. :) A swoon in my heart like I have never had before, I tell you, swoon.

Anyway, my Kaylee is on her way to walking soon. She stands on her own for over a minute at times and if you hold her hands while she is far enough away from you she will use her feet and legs to get closer instead of falling onto her bottom and scooting closer. I can't wait until she can run around the house like a mad baby! In any case, that is about all for right now. I have to go, I am making pasta sauce - from scratch (except for the canned tomatoes) and I have to make sure the onions don't burn while they are on the stove. Oh and.....

Seriously? Let me out of here!

Much love, <3

JESS

Hey All!

I just wanted to come on here and say a few things. I have been receiving emails from anonymous readers that I want to address today, mainly because I hate reading the same email over and over.

1. I am trying to post more often, because it is good for me.

2. I am really bad at commenting back because I actually forget that people really do comment, but I will definitely try to work on that. If you commented and didn't get a comment back: don't worry, I read it just a minute ago, and say thanks and all that. I will try to do better in that area.

3. After repeated questioning from some of my readers I am NOT going to place ads on these pages. I don't think the random 10-12 clicks I might get will justify paying 39.99 to have the service, unless you all tell your friends and make them click on something each day, which is against the rules anyway, so yea. - I won't be doing that.

4. I will definitely keep posting pictures. They are copyrighted and cannot be used without my consent. I don't know why anyone would want to make an icon out of some random nine month old baby girl, but hey, there are some freaky people out there. I understand the risk and I don't think that I should have to put a warning if a toddler in a bathing suit happens to be on my page. Get your head out of the gutter and go away, don't read if you don't like.

The end. Oh, and a picture of my first ever Oriental Lily which bloomed this afternoon:

Favorite new lily, Oriental Lily, first Oriental bloom of the Summer.

 And a toddler in a pool!

Yay! Look at me in my provocative bathing suit! ::eye roll::

Playing the Waiting Game, Again.

I have decided that I don't enjoy waiting for surgery, one bit. I was thinking that I would be okay (I mean, we've gone through this before), but now that her surgery is two weeks away I am starting to panic again. When I start to panic - I start to make lists. Lists of everything. As of today, I have four lists going.

The first is a list of things to take to the hospital: our own pillows, toothbrushes, toys to distract a hungry baby, toys to distract an angry baby, a cooler with food and drink (because hospital food is pricey), a change of clothing, movies and some video games (they have xbox-es in the rooms), and the laptop for status updates and emails. That one is okay and taken care of.

The next list I have is for house cleaning this weekend: clean everything.

The next list is a list of groceries to buy this weekend: food.

And lastly, the list of places to hold a birthday party for a one year old in late September: I have no idea.

Seriously though, she is going to be one year old soon. Two months. It's insane. This year went by so quickly. Baby is growing so good. She is doing really amazing. I can't believe how much she has grown and changed. She can pull herself up and she walks along the furniture, she can stand on her own for about ten seconds at a time. She loves anything musical (yay for Disney movies), the Battlestar Galactica intro/theme song especially, and the StarTrek Voyager intro/theme song too; yes, I grew and gave birth to a geek like me!

She is still teething. A tooth broke through on top. It's cute. She might only have one front tooth, but we won't know yet. I've got to make her appointment for her first true dentist visit with Doc Harris in Denver. She already knows Kaylee from the NAM treatments. That will be fun.

Anyway, pics! I took some new ones! Enjoy your day peoples <3 JESS

These are cookies. I can haz. Why cookies no come out of bag?

Rollie ball, with lights. I press the kitty button a million times.

Ooooh...what does this button do?

Alright Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close up. *Ten points for the first to get the reference.

Just Because.

Today I felt really, really, really pressured to smoke. So, I had to come to the computer to sit and think about why and all that and decided that I needed to show myself exactly what I have done in the almost two years since I quit.

So, I have saved $2536.23, and have not smoked 12,080 cigarettes, and I have added 13 weeks and 1 day to my life span.

So, yes. I needed to put that down. And it just reminds me of the fact that four short months after quitting smoking I found out I was pregnant with the Monster, and that is what we're here for and that is why I still don't smoke. :) <3 JESS

Yay! I haz a duckie!

Curses! Postponed!

Well, it is Tuesday. We very well should be sitting in a waiting room, wondering when the nurse is going to come out asking "Kaylee? Family for Kaylee?" Then we would get up to see our daughter in the recovery room; then be moved to the hospital room for the night, then hopefully released in the morning. *Le sigh* That is french for *sigh* I am still waiting on Dr.A's schedule lady to call me back to reschedule her surgery.

I did end up taking the day off of work though. I decided that I needed it. With all of the overtime I have been working, on top of the worrisome nature of my brain and heart and the lack of sleep; I need the day to just breathe. Yep. So that is what I am doing, plus I feel like crap. My body just hurts. My legs, my back, I've got the heartburn. I am taking it easy today.

Anyway. I don't have much more for ya, I am just updating. I am going to have a Firefly marathon today and nap here and there. Then make something awesomesauce for dinner, then sleep. Then get up and go to work for the rest of the week. :D YAY! <3 Jess

Well, here we go again.

So, on Tuesday at a bright and early 10:45 am (Mountain Time) our Monster goes in for palate surgery. We are currently unsure if this is going to be a one step or more than one step process to fix her palate. Some doctors do it in stages while others do the repair all at once. I hope our doctor does it all at once. That would be wonderful.

So, now I have the unfortunate dilemma of having to work while my baby heals. I will be taking off the day of her surgery and three days after just to be there for her through the worst of the pain, that way Daddy Monster isn't stuck with an Angry Kaylee Monster all by himself (that will make Daddy Monster cranky). Yeah, I guess one could say that I am nervous (yet again, but hey, this is my Monster that we are talking about here).

In any case, what will be, will be. I must learn that I cannot control everything (as much as I would wish to). So, updates on the monster? Well, she has two bottom teeth, and now one upper tooth. Which I have yet to get a picture of; as soon as she tilts her head to the right angle I miss the shot with my camera. One day, I shall get a camera that will make professionals cry (it will be that amazing). Until then, my happy little Sanyo VPC will have to suffice. I digress. One upper front tooth, the other, well I don't know how that will come in; sideways I expect - considering the angle of her gumline.

Fourth of July was fun for her. She enjoyed the fireworks. About halfway through she decided that the pretty lights in the sky were just not that interesting. She got to see some red, green, gold and white sparklers sort of up close, and we bought this tiny little fountain for her to see as well. She did love it. Next year she will probably be more interested, this year she was more interested in chewing on her thumb. :) I love this kid.

Anyway, that is all for now. My daughter is sleeping overnight at my parents house and I must say (because I cannot sleep for the life of me) that my kitchen has never looked so clean. And yea, that is all. There are not many pictures today, but I shall leave you with a few of Kaylee in the pool, as well as the pic of her in her Fourth of July outfit. <3 Jess

I can swim!

Those are my feet in the water.

Hi Mom!

What? I am having fun!

Splashy!

I love the water!

Getting kind of chilly.

Oooh...look at that!

Ready for fireworks!

We Are Alive. Really. I Swear.

So, hello! Apparently this is turning out to be a monthly thing from now on. :( I am going to try harder to blog more. I love doing this and this is such an awesome way to keep people updated and informed. So, I declare, from this moment on that I will blog here at least once a week, even if it is about nothing except my lily garden - which has gone nuclear by the way. I have giant presidential red lilies spattering a field (a very small field, but a field nonetheless) of green.

My lilies. :P

But, I digress. Kaylee, that's what we're here for.

What? I want some dog food too!

 My little dove turned 9 months old on the 23rd of June. My goodness time flies by so quickly. Over the last two weeks I have watched her go from army crawling and pushing herself across the floors with her feet to full fledged hands and knees lightning speed. I mean, you leave the gate to the hallway open and she takes off for it so fast it's like the AOL man reborn (member the little yellow running AOL man? God I'm getting old). It is also so very amazingly adorable.

Check me out, trying to do dishes already.

 She's also starting to recognize and put names with faces. When I hold her I'll ask "Where's Ronan?" and she will look around at the floor until her eyes rest on our dog, and she smiles and makes a throaty growling sound (I think that is her way of saying Ronan). I'll ask "where's Daddy?" and she will look across the room at Grant, smile and gurgle. Grant will ask her "where's Mommy?" and she will look at me smile and then gurgle at me.

And this is Winnie, and this is Squishy, and my Xbox controller.

 I love her so much, and I seriously die when I have to go to work, but I love that look on her face when I sneak into the house through the kitchen when I get home. I peak around the corner so she doesn't see me and then Grant will say "where's mommy?" She will look around and I jump out from round the corner - the smile on her face makes me realize how lucky I am. How lucky I am just to be a mom, and not just a mom...her mom. I love my Kaylee. I think we all knew that though.

I have teeth. They hurt coming in, but I have 'em now, and I use them.

 So, now she is also starting to pull herself up to stand. We've had to move movies and books from the book shelves. We've plugged all of the electrified little holes that she could potentially put her little fingers into. We've put up the gate and blocked the way to the kitchen so she is confined to a small and managable space. We have cleared the room of all wires and hangy things, all table tops are now clear of anything she can grab, and we no can no longer have a drink in the room either. Life with a toddler. :) Wouldn't give it up for anything.

Ronan, how did you get over there?

Her very first Fourth of July is coming up too. I am going out tonight to buy her some sparklers. She's too little for all the other stuff. I can't wait to see how she responds to the big show that we get to see from our front yard. We have the best seat in the city in my opinion. They are close enough to see the size, but far enough away so the boom doesn't make the ears bleed, not so far away that there is no boom at all. Eeee, can't wait, so excited. I love Fourth of July.

So, I'm stuck in here, and I can't get out. Please, anyone? GET. ME. OUTTA. HERE.

So, that is about it. I have six minutes before I leave for work, so I have to get pictures in and then go to work. Make some money, and be generally unhappy for 8 hours (call center work, nobody is ever happy there). Peace love, chicken grease, oh and some cute to make your day. <3 JESS

Can Ronan come out to play?